I am finishing my master’s in Spanish, so I’ve been in school for quite some time, and there are a couple of things that I have come to really love about college life. Besides getting WASTED every weekend (kidding, I don’t do that) I really appreciate the general attitudes of love, acceptance and respect for different people. I have several friends that are from other countries and cultures. My friendships know no bounds – my friends and acquaintances are an amazing array of ethnicities, religions, beliefs and sexual ‘orientations’ (a phrase I loathe, but I digress).
Not only am I a student, but I also work at the university. I’m the director of the women’s hall on campus – THE women’s hall. When I first got the job, I and my friends thought it would be a mess! Everyone knows the stereotypes about any large group of women in one place: they are probably catty bitches who only fight about boys, squeal at the sight of George Clooney and Justin Timberlake, and spend their days primping in the mirror before going to work out on the elliptical machine at the rec center so they don’t get sweaty. Some of this is true, it’s undeniable – every stereotype has its basis in truth. This is why I was particularly excited when a couple of my staff members did something pretty badass – they shaved their heads.
I know that this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but believe me, it is. Meredith and Corinne, two of my ballsiest, bravest and outspoken staff members decided to just go for it. Let me preface all of this by saying I manage a staff of amazing young women. They are smart, beautiful and grab life by the horns; each one is driven and loves to live life the way they want to. When Corinne shaved just a part of her head (she had shaved the whole thing last year when she was just a resident in my hall. Theatre people.), it gave Meredith all the impetus she needed to do it herself and shave the whole damn thing. However, what’s interesting isn’t that Meredith completely shaved her head, but what followed.
The days I got the clippers to do it for her, she was noticeably anxious – she was worried about what her parents would say, more than anything. She thought she might look like a guy or that people wouldn’t find her attractive. In sum, she was worried about what any young woman growing up in 21st century America would worry about. But she did it…
…And then came the guilt. She freaked out after I finished. Some of the residents in our building watched as I took the clippers though her thick auburn hair; after it was finished, we told her she looked great! I’m a disgustingly honest person, so I definitely wouldn’t say it looks nice just to make her happy. She seemed weird about having made such a rash decision – she ran her hands over her head and had a look of sheer terror. Meredith said that she had no plans on telling her mom for at least two weeks; I told her, fuck it! She’s capable of making her own decisions, and besides, hair grows back.
That night she told her brother – he laughed and said she looked like a boy, and that was the end of it. Her parents weren’t so forgiving.
Her mom didn’t talk to her for a couple of days.
Her dad sounded less than thrilled.
In the meantime, Meredith was noticing all of the new attention she was getting. Whispers in the dining halls and people pointing and staring in disbelief were now a regular part of Meredith’s routine. She even told me she was getting the “Do you think she’s a lesbian?” looks. For the record she isn’t a lesbian. But that begs the question, why should it matter? Why should she have to defend herself from something so trivial? Who cares if she loves men, women or both? I hadn’t really thought about how wrapped up a woman’s perceived beauty (and sexuality) is in her hair until Meredith did this. What does it mean to look like a lesbian? People come in all types, yet we are so quick to place a label and differentiate.
I asked Meredith in our weekly meeting what she has been learning from the whole thing. She says that it’s interesting being the center of attention; people will stop what they are doing, just to take a look. But she also said that it’s liberating and has given her more confidence. She is an avid rock climber, and now she feels more like a badass when she does it. She notices that when she talks to men, they actually look at her face and not her breasts. Now, the glares and looks of curiosity don’t even faze her. Meredith is doing what I am still working on myself: she’s becoming more comfortable in her own skin.
So remember, don’t judge a woman by her haircut.
No comments:
Post a Comment