Poetry Tuesday

Firstly, I would like to thank all of the poets and readers that were supportive and continue to assist in making Escaping The Box a successful blog.  In order to meet this first week's poet, I had to get out on foot and go to the Coffee Scene in Fayetteville,  North Carolina during its Open Mic Night.  This guest was one of the many talented voices that night and with him he brought a demeanor that was well calculated yet young, fiery, and vibrant.  So, with no further delay I would like to introduce our first guest to the Stage of Escaping the Box:  Eean "Enfinite" Tyson.

My name is Eean Tyson and I am 27 years old.  I grew up in a military household so I have always believed in, it’s not where you are from but it’s where ya’ at.  Right now, I am living in Fayetteville, NC, and have been here for about a year.  Poetry and I have been in an intimate relationship since I could remember but about 5 months ago I began performing at various open mics to include the Coffee Scene hosted by Neil Ray, the Fig Café, and Poetry in Motion hosted by LJ Bowens. After the first time I was addicted.  I then began performing in Poetry Slams which is an entirely different animal but I have fallen in love.  I had a great opportunity to perform at the Carolina Theatre in Durham, NC “An Evening with Sonia Sanchez”, a poetry slam and performance by Sonia Sanchez, who is one of my idols.  It was a great and humbling experience.  I have also looked up to the likes of Langston Hughes and Maya Angelo as well.

 I have a great respect for the English language, and have always been the type of person who wanted to bend the rules of literature.  I want to be able to inspire, encourage, and motivate others with my poetry at the same time revealing something about me to the audience.  I am currently working on my first book that will hopefully be completed by early next year (2011) and my first CD that will be out at the end of this year.

I am currently putting together an artist page on FaceBook.  You can search my name Eean Tyson or EnFinite.  You can also reach me by email if you enjoy my work and would like to hear or see more. e.tyson22@gmail.com.

LIFE LIKE ME

Its the best and the worst, my first and my last;

My future once before, now is the past;

I have been there again and before and,

When my ups were down, but my less has always been more,

I’ve kept it all in perspective, even brought darkness to light,

Push drama left in attempts to keep my mind right;

So insecure that confidence will be misconstrued

No nonsense kindness may be portrayed as rude—

Only weakness is my strength, as I forget to remember;

The heat of July or the chill of December;

I been dying to live and give my all to take, I’ve lost focus;

I hope and question whether my pursuits are hopeless;

Doubters so sure that my worth is worthless,

Unaware that my flaws are perfect,

And I view each failure as success

With each line that’s born another faces death

I stay grounded with my head in the skies;

Truth never rests as I’m surrounded by lies;

Realness perpetrated by the fake-

I look back and can’t say that I would correct every mistake;

My short comings will be key in the long run,

Dismissed the right decisions in favor of the wrong one;

Without remorse, I morn

I love in hopes never having to face a woman’s scorn-

This life I live to die with respect;

Or maybe perish trying to live the life, that life never forgets;

We come and we go what is, is what will be;

When I’m done with the world life will never live a life like me...

©2010’

Remember to send all of your work to enick.bostick@gmail.com with a brief bio (pictures are optional).

Dreams

ON August 28, 1963, Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his “I Have a Dream” speech at the Lincoln Memorial.  It spoke of a vision of equality amongst races within the United States of America.  He voiced his ideas of equal opportunity between races within the job market, schools, as well as society as a whole.  This was the future he envisioned for his children; for everyone’s children.  Though his dream seemed unlikely - or even impossible to some - he still dared to have a vision and spoke of it aloud with the world as his audience.  I remember watching an old video of this speech in 2001.  Needless to say it struck a nerve.  I saw his bravery and his boldness, I saw how fearless he was and yet how ingenious he was.  I saw myself in his convictions and more importantly I saw more of who I aspired to become.

            Photo taken at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C.  It reads:

I Have A Dream

Martin Luther King Jr.

 The March On Washington For Jobs and Freedom

  August 28, 1963

            On January 20, 2009 Barrack Obama was elected the first African-American President of the United States of America.  Still I wonder if Martin Luther King Jr. had any true concept of the power in the words he spoke and the impact that they would have on the world. 

            How can one dream without creativity?  You must look at the world as it is and visualize a new one – one that you have influenced; one where your ideas and opinions matter.  We must all dare to dream as Martin Luther King, Jr.  Do not allow conformity, society, or even your own mind to convince you that your dreams are unrealistic or that pursuing them would be a waste of time.

 

            Within our dreams and aspirations are undeniable truths.  They hold the blueprint and code that will shape our future, and the world’s.  By better understanding your dream you can better understand the journey within life that you must undergo.  All of our dreams have meaning; there have been many books written about the interpretations of metaphors and parables in our subconscious dreams we have during sleep.  You must get to the bottom of your dream. Ask yourself; what is the moral of the story that you have imagined for the future?  What emotions are you to evoke?  What will be the end result of your dream?  Look beyond the material gain that you wish to acquire and look at the immaterial gains that will be the result; love, happiness, a feeling of purpose and accomplishment, a better understanding and appreciation for yourself and the world around you.  See beyond the simple goals and have what is known as a vision. 

The young officer chases goals and aspires to become a master of tactics.  The senior officer invests in his vision and is the strategic force that molds the battlefield.

By understanding your dream you become one step closer to achieving it.

            First you must blindly trust the voice that is within you.  The inner voice is all-knowing with a better perception of you than anyone, even your own conscious mind.  Leave this channel that connects you with your inner voice open and clear.  Encourage the inner voice to speak by asking a question and meditating on it.  Empower your inner voice by putting its insight and advice to work.  Material possessions and tangible results are never the inner-mind’s true priority; the motive is to have you become more you.  The inner voice is not influenced by the world around it; it is simply hidden away or ignored.  It’s thought process is beyond logic and reason; by listening to it, you are relying on a process beyond your own understanding.  This is where things become unreasonable.                              

            Your inner voice does not care whether you are rich or poor; in love with someone or single; what social class or group you are in, or wish to be a part of.  It only cares about the growth of the true you, absent of all social, material, and tangible desires.  The inner-mind subconsciously plans to achieve its ultimate goal of making you a better you.  These plans are elaborate and to the logical, conscious mind they are difficult to comprehend and impossible to predict.

            The inner-mind can manipulate and trick the conscious mind.  This is because conscious mind is so often full of unimportant, untrue, and conformed social concepts that guide individuals away from their true selves.  It makes listening to the inner voice next to impossible.  Concepts like “Prettier is better” or “Wealthier is better” dominate the conscious mind.   For me, it was visual artistic skill that I chased.  When I was younger I valued my relationship with my inner voice but there were still so many social concepts that I had acquired; “The more skilled the artist, the better the artist”.  Doesn’t that sound so reasonable and logical?  Notice how easily misled the logical mind can be.  The truth that I had later discovered is, “The more creative the artist, the better the artist”.  In my younger days I chased artistic skill and prestigious art education programs.  I was the teenager on the bus sketching other patrons as they rode to their destinations.   Pursuing artistic skill had become my life.  I saw that art would be my future and would not hear anything contrary to my dream.  My vision was to become a great artist and create pieces that would change the lives of others. 

            I had a high school sweetheart during these years that also enjoyed art. Perhaps she had been attracted to my unwavering focus to improve my skill.  During this phase in my life it was realism, human anatomy, and the masters of the High Renaissance that were my artistic inspiration.  My girlfriend saw my newest goal was to draw a portrait of photographic quality.  It must have possible if other great artists could do it.  I had sketchbooks that were full of eyes, noses, and lips that I had drawn.  For some reason I could never get them to work together.  There was always some error. 

            My girlfriend gave me a photo of herself as a baby.  She asked me if I could draw it; I told her I would try and that I could not promise her a successful product.  I sat and drew and erased in the dining room of my home for ten hours straight.  During this time I studied until I memorized every line and every angle of the child’s face.  To my surprise the portrait was a success; equal to the quality of the photograph she had given me.  Instantly, I was filled with love for her.  I had fallen in love with the sight of her.  It felt like I had taken her beauty within me and understood it without a shadow of a doubt and I had proof of this experience; a simple drawing.

This is the actual portrait drawn when I was 17 years old.

            I remember meditating afterwards for days; “Is she the one?”  I had asked this question about every girl I’d cared for.  The answer had always been NO.   I remember this time the voice said YES.  Of course she was the one.  I was the only person that truly understood how beautiful she was.  From then forward I pursued her love, her company, and artistic skill like never before.

            My love for my girlfriend, for art, for the world and nature had all become interlinked.  I seemed to need all of these things to feel whole and I became so much more aware of and confident in my true self.  During my pursuit for artistic skill, a better understanding of myself, and the world around me, I made the decision to go off to a college out of state.  Though it was very difficult at times, my love for her was amazingly strong.  I kept the drawing I had of her as a reminder of my feelings for her.  She, on the other hand, did not find the distant relationship so empowering.  She made the decision to break up with me.  I had been broken.  I begged her for three hours (which felt more like an eternity) to compromise.  I then was fed up and said it had to be because she didn’t feel that I  was worth it; she agreed.   “Enick, in your own words, ‘YOU’RE NOT WORTH IT’.”  I remember the words as if it were yesterday.

            As a result, I gave up on my pursuit for artistic skill.  I had given up on my love for the world.  I had given up on women.  I knew that I had been tricked by my inner voice.  But why was that so?  What had I been given other than heartache and misery?  Self-confidence.  There was no way!  How could I be happy without her?  I had found the bravery to listen to my inner voice and chase my dreams.  That can’t be true!  I can’t pick up a pencil to draw anymore!  I found a desire to find out more about myself and the world around me.  I embraced my ability to associate my concepts of the world with something else – art.

            Not even my heartache, nor my resentment for the world could have taken away those things I had learned and acquired.  She was the one.  I had learned so much and acquired so many tools so quickly, simply by pursuing my dream.  If I never pick up a pencil to draw again, I have still benefited greatly from listening to my inner voice and following my dream to become an artist.  We are still friends that speak today and I still occasionally talk with her over lunch or dinner.  I am extremely grateful of her role in my personal growth.

            Take pleasure in exploring the depths and power of the mind.  It surpasses all logic and will never cease to amaze you.  She was the one but not in the sense that I was expecting.  No longer do I pursue the dream of becoming an artistic genius.  Artistry has simply evolved into creativity.

             

The Community Begins Now!

This is where it gets good people!  I am going to begin one of two community events.  Starting next Tuesday the 31st of August, I will post a poem from my readers.  I would like you to send your poems, and a brief bio (to include age) - a photo is optional - of yourself to enick.bostick@gmail.com  These rules will apply.

1.  All poems should provoke thought and Creative Thinking.  (If you wonder if your poem provokes thought, send it because it probably does.)

2.  There will be no profane language or offensive material posted out of courtesy for other readers.

3.  Once you send your poem, it will be seen by the world.  I will not in any way, shape, or form try to claim your work.  You - the Poet - will receive all credit and I will give a brief introduction as to why I chose to post your work!

We will try to post a new poem each Tuesday.  Send your best thought provoking poems to enick.bostick@gmail.com and we will kick this thing off Tuesday.  Looking forward to reading your work.

The next community event will be a surprise!  Stay Tuned.

Note to the Reader

    In my idealistic world, I fantasize of a place where everyone left some tangible proof of their existence and experience behind; like a book, a painting, or a song for everyone to connect with and learn from their experience. I spend time reading about the biographies of successful world leaders, celebrated figures of the past, and musicians. As a result I think to myself, "Those are real people with real experiences just like me. I can become a success story too." This is my piece that I am giving to the world. I hope that my words give you something to connect with and possibly learn from.

    I've been told many times by my editor, Krystina, not to sound mechanical, condescending, distant and detached from the reader. Over time I have come to understand why she said this so often. I only hope that this blog captures the essence of what we both had envisioned.

    They say, when speaking in front of a group of people that you should imagine them in their underwear. Picture some of the faces that seem to intimidate you in tacky cartoon character underwear. This takes the feeling of embarrassment and anxiety away from you, and in turn, places it upon the group (at least in your imagination). You speak as the expert on the subject and they listen attentively because they know so little about the subject in comparison. I would like to go about this blog a little differently; I would like to be the one to be envisioned in their undergarments, exposed and vulnerable. I want to show you my scars and insecurities. With this, I believe that you will be able see your life within them. As opposed to me lecturing the reader, I would like this blog to read as if it were a conversation between the audience and me.

    This blog in so many ways is a glimpse into what makes us who we are in ways that we already understand and in some ways we hadn't yet imagined. Do not feel put off if there is something you don't initially understand, agree with or if there is something you cannot personally relate to. I would like this blog to be a piece for conversation in schools, coffee shops, book clubs (if they even exist anymore), and casual conversations. I hope to be able to get in touch with you all personally about any comments, insights, or questions you may have about the writings.

    I believe the reason people will read and follow this blog is not due to a feeling of being lost or clueless, but to having found something. Realize that you are already a success story; simply surviving all of the hardships and setbacks that you have experienced is enough to be proud of. It is within ourselves that we will find all of the strength and answers that we desire.

    We are destined to experience moments in our lives that to us will seem nothing less than hopeless. Loneliness and depression may at some point seem to consume all of who and what we are. Trust that these moments are what make us stronger and wiser. They create better character traits within us; we find (after our survival) an ability to give better advice to those in need. These moments make for better conversations over coffee. Did I mention that I love coffee?

Self Image

Before embarking on this epic journey - which results in you reaching your limitless potential - you must have at least the smallest insight of who you are and your importance.

    The concept of not knowing who you truly are should and will rub many people the wrong way. To admit such a thing is likely to make some people feel incomplete, idiotic, or inadequate. Yet to face ourselves naked - in our most raw and unadulterated form - intimidates us to no end. Many of us find ourselves running for a towel to cover up our perceived imperfections and vulnerabilities. We must be willing to come to the realization that we are incomplete, that we don't know who we are, and that we cannot discover our immeasurable potential until we first explore ourselves.

    For instance, during the time that I was actually writing and revising this chapter, I happened upon an amazing idea while at dinner with a friend of mine (24 years old), and her younger sister (16 years old). These young ladies are both beautiful and delightful company. During my free time I encourage and take pleasure in having very raw and thought provoking conversations; "Analyze everything in hopes of discovering something new about yourself and the world around you," I say. During this conversation over dinner, little sis asked something along the lines of what vagina looks like. I was stunned, but happily explained as best I could for the sake of her curiosity.

    My friend's younger sister is such a delight and still proclaims today to have a profound understanding of who she is; after I think about it, I suppose we all did at age 16. What still baffles me today, is how someone can believe that they have a true understanding of who they are but - while having a curiosity – may still have no concept of what their physical body looks like. The understanding of who we are doesn't just fall into our laps; it takes time, undivided attention, and exploration. If the human mind is capable of discovering the formulas to solve physics (which I am horrible at) and calculus equations, then it must surely be complex beyond imagination.

    If you mind is akin to calculus, and you body is basic arithmetic, then do you believe you would be able to understand calculus without a profound grasp of the properties of arithmetic? Even more intriguing, why is it more comfortable or acceptable for a young woman to ask what her vagina looks like as opposed to just looking for herself? Does society discourage women from having a clear understanding of what is covered by their underwear? Would society at all benefit by keeping women from being open and comfortable with their bodies? And what affect does that have on women on so many other levels?

    Is it possible to have a movement fueled by the driving forces of honesty and self exploration?

    I wish I could tell you that money, social stature, your level of education, being married with children in a beautiful home, or having a promising career are the keys to solving your existing predicament. Though these goals may be sought-after for some, they are simply interchangeable pieces to the puzzle, not the ultimate answer. As you follow and accomplish these feats in hopes of finding fulfillment and solving your current problems, you will discover the puzzle is far from complete and that you have only created an opportunity for more desires and problems to surface.

    Society still mercilessly drives us to follow these aspirations as if they are the favorable end results. Consequently, we find ourselves ambitiously chasing these goals with no desire to better understand who we are. We fail to realize that you cannot be sure that you are achieving something for yourself of genuine value with no self-image. All feats can possibly dead-end or become pointless (like a cat chasing a ball of yarn) because they are reached based upon views that are not your own.

    Discovering more about ourselves is paramount. It is not to be seen as a pastime or a leisure pursuit that we can place to the side when it becomes inconvenient for our social lives. What is the purpose of chasing goals when you aren't sure if they are even your own? We must explore ourselves to discover why we are here, what makes our life so different from all others, and what it is that we have to say. What can we (as individuals) offer to the world? By having an accurate understanding of who we are, we gain the ability to pursue our personal goals. We don't have to gamble with our time any longer by following someone else's.

    To chase goals with no understanding of who you truly are may not seem very dangerous, but the person who pursues and perhaps even achieves this goal is comparable to a timed bomb. Upon detonation the bomb will - more than likely - hurt friends, family, and even themselves. For example, imagine waking up married to a beautiful or handsome spouse, lovely children, and an extravagant home, only to realize that this is not and has never been the life that you truly wanted for yourself. Perhaps the person that you are married to has always made you feel miserable about yourself. Who will this bomb injure? Whose goal was it for you to marry anyhow? Some would make the conscious decision to stay in this type of relationship after coming to such a realization; the household would stay intact. Consequently they might feel as if their intervention would keep the explosion from ever occurring. They do not understand that the explosion has simply not manifested itself physically yet; it occurred upon the realization that this life was not what you wanted.

    Exploring ourselves is a life-long voyage with labyrinthine twists and turns. It is so easy to become lost within ourselves once we embark upon this journey. During this voyage we realize that so much of what we believe ourselves to be are simply society's views and concepts that we have mindlessly accepted. Discovering more about ourselves will assist us in determining who we are, apart from society's perceptions.

    I share the anxieties of so many parents that are unsure of how much of a negative impact society will have upon their children's lives. We all lose sleep as we mull over which of the ever-present untruths will be shared with them from the media, their peers, and even their schools. What box will our children be thrown into and will they ever find their way out? Who will tell them that they are not pretty enough, smart enough, or ultimately good enough to achieve what it is they want for themselves? With all of these lies, how will our kids ever truly be able to have a clear perception of who they are? I can better illustrate this with a simple question. Who is more prestigious: the school teacher who devotes her life to satisfying the hungry mind, the police officers or firemen who risk their lives to preserve safety and order in our cities, the soldier who fights and bleeds for the current interest of his or her country, or the actor who portrays them in movies and television? What is society teaching our children at this very moment?

     Though it is unlikely that we have ever made the comparison, the mind shares many of the same characteristics as a house. At birth, the mind is like a bare home with no furniture in any of the rooms and empty closets. All of the walls are freshly painted and the floors gleam. This home is so clean but yet, so incomplete; it pleads to be furnished and decorated. Through experiences we are exposed to concepts and ideas. When we allow ourselves to accept ideas as valuable, it is as if we are allowing furniture to be moved into the house. (Some of these ideas are as simple arithmetic and others are as complicated as the standards and value of physical attraction.) As we place higher worth on some furniture, it is as if we are placing it closer to the front door in hopes of it being seen, or we put them as the center pieces - creating themes around them - in the rooms of our mind.

    So often, we allow ourselves to take in furniture subconsciously. The mind has an open door unless you consciously make a point to close and lock it. Over time, being careless with the ideas that we allow into our mind create a messy and cluttered house. Imagine yourself walking through this house seeing furniture, and you have no idea where it came from. You wonder things like, "Where did this dirty old couch come from? Whose slippers are these? Where did "fat girls are unattractive" come from?" You say to yourself, "I didn't let that in here... Did I?" Perhaps you did.

    Upon self-analysis, we must leave no stone unturned as we look at all of our furniture and distinguish whether each idea is a reflection or a justification of who we would like become. If not, you must consciously disallow this concept from having further influence in your thoughts. Once you have done this, it is like throwing the concept out of the house.

    Everything that has been taught to you has its biases. Be bold enough to question everything and look at the things that you are told critically. As a result you will not only understand the concept, but you can recognize the purpose behind the concept as well. Even the news and history books have their biases. They never tell the whole story; they only tell us what is important to us, or perhaps what they feel should be important for us to know. You must search from every angle possible for the truth. The whole truth is out there but is rarely given or pursued.

    What is your self-image; not based upon others perceptions of you but how do you see yourself? What thoughts, values, or beliefs have you acquired within your life that does not reflect who you truly are? The answer to this question is not simple and your self-image today is likely to be different ten years from now. The adventure that we take on in order to find out who we are is tedious, stressful, and never-ending. But there is perhaps no greater accomplishment than sifting through all of the false and unimportant concepts that you were taught, finding out who it is that you truly are, and then accepting that person. Such a treasure can never be stolen or stripped away.