2 Reasons to Learn or Have Your Children Learn to Play Chess

Many people see chess as a pointless and time consuming game of patience where players stare at a checkered board and move pieces in no particular order to gain the upper hand. Unarguably in some ways they are correct. Chess is a game with 32 pieces and 64 squares. The two contestants sit on opposite sides of the board with an equal number of pieces and the simple goal of beating the other. Players obey the rules while moving their share of pieces across the board in sometimes bold or conservative fashion to achieve this goal. That sounds simple enough; a meaningless and time consuming game. Right?

For those of you who feel this way and wonder whether it would be a waste of time or not to learn how to play, improve your game, or have your children to learn to play chess here are two reasons as to why you should.

Reason Number 1: Become A Better Problem Solver With Chess

Let's start this off with some simple questions. I'll ask a random person that doesn't understand the importance of chess. "So winning is all you have to do in a game of chess? Can you tell me how?"

"Just put the person in checkmate." Not a bad answer. Right?

I continue, "But how would you go about doing that?"

"By obeying the rules I would move my pieces over to the opposing side of the board without getting them all taken, put pressure on the enemy king, and then I would put them in checkmate." That doesn't sound too dumb either.

Let's keep at it. I wonder if you are seeing a trend here. "I suppose that sounds good; but how?

Awkward silence followed by, "What do you mean how?"

I think he's starting to get the picture. "Exactly what I said, 'How?'"

I'm sure I could string on this dead end conversation for hours. But it's simple. I was asking a trick question. Because there are an infinite amount of situations that occur on a chess board from start to finish there can never be a simple (do this to win) answer that cannot be rebutted. To explain my point in simple a simpler way, what works in one situation won't work in every situation.

Because of that reason a competitive chess player must have a flexible mind that takes time to analyze an entire situation before making a move. For example, the player must take into consideration their current plan, resources, strengths, and weaknesses as well as that of their opponent. Even more so, they should take into consideration the importance of all 64 squares at the same time. Does that sound easy? No? Well that was the easiest way that I could explain it.

Lots of times a person is mentally exhausted after playing a competitive chess game. The person has to analyze a situation, use their creativity to make a plan, and then do it again (repeat, repeat). I suppose it's the same as mentally hitting the gym. Studies have even proven that playing chess shortens recovery time for brain injuries and can even lower a person's chances of getting Alzheimer's disease. Click here to learn more.

Now let's take the competitive chess player and his or her problem solving abilities into the real world. What we end up with is an analytical and creative problem solver (yeah so that's both sides of the brain in case you missed that). Though the problems of the real world versus those of chess are very different, to a chess player the properties are the same; follow the rules, take into consideration all of my resources and develop them, analyze the intricacies of the current situation, create a plan, and then execute. Sound convincing enough yet?

Reason Number 2: Chess Teaches Good Habits Like Development

The first 12 moves of a chess game are together known as the opening. Here each player starts with a beginning strategy to enhance the activity and potential of all of their pieces. Though there are a wide range of strategies and tactics to gaining activity and enhancing potential, the idea never changes; create a situation on the board that brings life and harmony to my pieces in order to conduct a single plan. By developing your pieces to enhance their potential, you increase your options (I can do this if I want or I can do that if I want). Normally it is the player with the least amount of options that loses. Throughout the duration of the game, there will hopefully be more time to develop. When these chances arise seize them.

So what practicality is there in development? Should that really even be a question? Early in all of our lives we begin by developing. Lots of times our childhood personal development was based on our surrounding environment. As our lives continue we begin to make more choices concerning what we would prefer to develop and what seems less important. We manage our time to better ourselves how we see fit.

Personal development creates options. Not very many people would hire a sociologist to be an engineer. Therefore when we manage our time by being constructive and developing it as if we are hinting towards the future we would like to see for ourselves. And again, through the duration of the game, there will hopefully be more time to develop. When these chances arise seize them!

Normal Does Not Mean Correct

Avoid stunting your personal development by constricting your mind to a box. Step out of your parameters despite a fear of others no longer accepting you. Most importantly, we must accept ourselves. You are your mind. Allow yourself to see things from perceptions and angles that you had never thought of before. Let your mind question society's popular notions no matter how normal they are. Normal does not mean correct. Tradition can be a terrible thing if it does not promote free thinking.

Let's Make Life More Meaningful Starting Today

Do not be afraid to lose sleep over the things you wish to achieve or ideas you wish to uncover. Sometimes this is a huge barrier that we place in front of ourselves. When we do not make time to do the things that are meaningful and important to us it makes life mundane and limits our personal development. We do have the time; we just have to seize it. A loss of sleep is a very small price to having a meaningful existence.

Games don’t kill people, people kill people

Our relationship with video games and the industry has proven to be a complicated one. You love it or you hate. There's not really much middle ground. Anyone who believes that they have found a middle ground is dismissed as a n00b who has no idea what they're talking about! LOLZ – n00bz!!!

Our already complex and ever-evolving relationship with the industry now looks like it is going to get even grittier. Over the past week or so, there has been an epic battle bubbling up between the state of California and the game industry. In short, gaming companies are arguing that bad and unfair regulation of their industry singles them out, and they in turn get more heat than other forms of media. The industry not only claims that their first amendment rights are being stepped on, but also are saying that their work is just as much art as music, movies and television. The biggest bone that the government has to pick with the gaming industry, however, is their claim that parents are the best judge when it comes to whether or not a game is too extreme for their child(ren).

Many of the game industry's opponents cite the extreme violence (and now, sex as well) as their motivation for pushing for tougher legislation. They claim that violence in video games produces violence in those who play them; how many times have we heard about some child who was particularly violent in some way, and the reason for it is their gaming? How many studies have shown us the terrible consequences of letting our children take in violent video games? This is something that we are bombarded with every once in a while, and then it sort of fades away.

What makes this so much more intriguing, however, is that you don't hear about music and movies this way. Why? Maybe it's because if a violent movie comes out, or a violent show is on television you can change the channel, or not take your child to the theatre. You don't have to let your child listen to music that talks about capping motherfuckers, slapping bitches and slinging dope. You can shield your children from those things. And that fact in itself is what makes the federal case against gaming lose some of its credibility. No one is forcing parents to buy violent games for their children, they don't have to be let into your home. You can shield your children from the violence of war, aliens and thug life by NOT PURCHASING THOSE TYPES OF GAMES. The government shouldn't be responsible for taking over a parent's job. Raise your own children. Be in their lives.

My parents are gamers; I grew up surrounded by them and occasionally their violence. Then again, my parents were also open and honest. Life is messy, and art is a more often than not a reflection of the world in which it was created. Video games fall into this category – it is an example of art imitating life. More importantly, however is the idea that children are completely a product of their environment. It's insulting if you think about it. By letting this kind of legislation pass, you are telling the world that a faceless entity has more control, power and influence in your child's life than you as a parent. WTF? Does that not strike anyone else as royally f*^ked up? And how is game violence any worse than the hypersexual, intrusive, bi-polar, borderline voyeuristic society we live in?

The point is not to shield children from the realities of the world that we live in, but rather to prepare them to function in it. Life isn't neat and trouble free, so why paint that illusion? With abstinence-only sex ed., ridiculously harsh gaming legislation and squabbling over what producers of entertainment can and cannot do, we are setting our children up to be scared shitless of the real world. Children are young, not stupid; frankly, they are quite resilient – being honest is the best thing you can do for your child. Explain to your child that a game is not real, and that violence isn't always the answer; make time for them so that the TV isn't raising him or her, because that is your job. Don't punish the gaming industry for fear that 8-year-old Suzy is going to witness a murder while playing Modern Warfare II; don't strip their freedom of speech because of your hyper-protective, nonsensical, irrational fears. Instead, educate Suzy about it if she happens upon it, and in the meantime don't buy the damn game for an 8-year-old! Parents, please use your damn heads – don't let violence into your home if that is what you so choose.

Take responsibility for what happens in your home and spend time raising your children. In the end, if you do well, that's going to have a much greater impact on your child than Gears of War, Modern Warfare, Mario and Mortal Kombat ever will.

This Veteran’s Day Let’s Not Forget

This is a picture of me in Talifar, Iraq in 2005. I was on a patrol with my unit and the mission was to hand out transistor radios to the families in our area. The kids were pretty happy to see us that day.

This is another picture of me in Sadr City, 2007 during a raid on a suspected house of a terrorist. To see more pictures from my unit during this adventure click here.

Lastly I would like to honor my friend and fallen comrade. Zachary Tomczak was killed on a patrol that we were on together September 25, 2007. He was an amazing young man; sweet, kind, and strong in every way imaginable. You will never be forgotten.
Send your love, thoughts, and encouragement to all of the heroes here this Veteran's Day; past and present.

Are Muslims in America Second Class Citizens?

You find yourself standing in a crowded area (downtown at rush hour, the airport during the holiday season to see your loved ones, the subway) with people routinely bumping each other shoulder to shoulder without any sense of personal space.  This is my bubble and you stay out of it!  There doesn't seem to be any real order here or malicious intent; only controlled chaos like a colony of bees swarming in and around its hive. (No offense to bees but I've never heard one say, "Excuse me".)


Through the bustle you see Him.  Anxiety strikes you, yet you try to appear calm.  You look around to see if anyone else can see Him and if so, do they seem to be as nervous as you are.  Is it getting warm in here?  You seem to have begun perspiring a bit.  Please, not today.  I just wanted to...fill in your action here.  He seems to look a bit nervous as well.  You can see it in His eyes.  This can't be good.  Perhaps this exact spot isn't where you need to be standing right now.  You struggle to turn in the crowd.  "Excuse me. Ex-excuse me, please."  That's a good child, polite until death.  You don't take your eyes off him.  He begins to gaze over the crowd.  His lips move methodically as if he were saying the same thing over and over again.  Though it isn't English, you recognize it.  His facial expression is no longer nervous; perhaps he has found some sort of resolution.  He cracks the slightest grin as he looks over the crowd; the chant continues.  Suddenly the smile fades as his teeth begin to snarl his brow falls and his eyes gleam as that of an Islamic Warrior.  He grabs for the zipper of his worn leather jacket.  The jacket is unzipped and falls to the floor.  You realize that you do recognize what he is saying; it is now audible. 


"ALLAH AKBAR!" he is now yelling.  Wait a second. You mean they really say that stuff in real life?  Cool!  Time stops as this Middle Eastern man stands amongst the crowd in his galabiyya and suicide vest ensemble.  Where's the Fashion Police when you really need them?  You push with all of your strength now against the hustle.  Turn damn it!  Turn now or die!  The first thing that comes to your mind slips out of your mouth.  Well there goes the, "Polite until death," compliment I just gave you.  Now if you live through this, remind me to wash your mouth out with soap!"  The sound of the explosion is deafening; you feel the sound penetrate through your very being.   Still alive! As you regain your wits, screams are all that can be heard.  The hearing in your left ear has obviously been tinkered with. 


Your spirits begin fall as you surrender to the reality of the current tragedy.  Your legs (it seems like everyone else's) are pumping like pistons involuntarily.  To your right you see a well built man running alongside you with a little boy in his arms.  "Daddy, why did the man blow up?"
So when you hear someone saying, "My name is... (insert popular Arabic/ Middle Eastern name here)," what do lots of Americans think?


"But when I get on a plane - I gotta tell you - if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think - you know - they are identifying them self first and foremost as Muslims.  I get worried.  I get nervous." - Juan Williams


"Muslims Killed Us On 9/11!" - Bill O'Reilly



Still not convinced?  No, my good boy.  What exactly is your point?  There was even a story on Fox News speaking of a poll conducted that stated 1 in 5 Americans believe President Barrack Obama is Muslim (as if such a finding lowers his potential to be a credible American President). 
My point is quite simple.  American society through its experience and fear of terrorist attacks has painted a picture that all Muslims and people with Middle Eastern features are suspects. 


But wait - I'm Hindu!


Sorry buddy, how 'bout for now you go stand over there with the rest of the Middle Easterners.


Perhaps we should take the time to notice the path of our country's mind set when we have an American Preacher declaring observances such as "International 'Burn a Quran' Day".  Terry Jones at one point stated that, "The message," (of burning Qurans as a national observance to the ninth anniversary of 9/11), "we are trying to send is much more important than people being offended."  Was his controversial fifteen minutes of fame a bunch of farfetched bull?  Or was he simply the only one with enough courage to express a concept that so many Americans had already internalized?


So I guess the question would be, "Do good Muslims feel uncomfortable in our society at all?"
Of course not; this is America for God's sake, the Land of Opportunity. Right?


This is the part in Escaping the Box where your opinion matters.  Let's see what it is you have to say about it.  Have Muslims in America become second class citizens?  I dare you to send this post to a friend and make this conversation a worldwide event.  Wait!  Better yet, I take that back.  I Triple Dog Dare Ya.

Latest Poem Entry by T.S. Wilkins

This is another one for my poetry lovers.  This poet I luckily ran into on Twitter.  I  was immediately intrigued by her profile and asked personally for her to submit a piece of work.  So with no further delay I would like to introduce T. S. Wilkins to the stage of Escaping The Box.  Enjoy.

I am a 26 year old inspirational poet (poetess, really) who lives in South Carolina. My journey as a poet started at the age of five, and has become a very enlightening experience. I am the author of two books. My latest book is entitled He is Noah which is a personal dedication to those suffering from any mental disability. My interest in poetry is primarily focused on offering inspiration to those who struggle in any form in life.


The Hope Within the Light
Beyond the flattering glimpses of hope,
Dwells the trembling reality of a fragile soul
Entangled in the chains of wishes gone astray,
Trapped in the deceitful realm of an unorganized dream
Too stubborn to come true,
Captured by the gloom of a lonely day
The whispers within their soul will say….
I understand you, Willow Tree—
How your roots are grounded in the soil of pain
As your soul drags on and tears remain
That constant burden and heavy weight
Upon the branches of your faith—
But still you must endure the rain,
The pulling of the wind’s disdain…
Pulling you away from the hope worth keeping,
Yes!
Yes!
I understand your weeping.
I know your sorrow, Silent Shadow;
Your happiness hanging on the gallows
Mimicking who you wish to be
But who can know,
And who will see
The tears that flow in darkness there
There beyond what you can bear….
Beyond the screams of misery,
Hidden in darkness silently?
Misfortune’s out to steal your life,
And rob you of your wishful light!
It keeps you in the darkness crying.
No one sees your soul is dying.
No one knows what sorrow’s taking!
No one knows how bad it’s aching
To shout the name of destiny!
I hear your haunted symphony!
I hear that dreadful tune within
The strings of woeful violins!
I feel your failure, Fallen Leaf—
How you fell down to
The ground of grief…
Fell down there
To be stepped on still.
I know how that failure feels.

For beyond my flattering glimpses of hope,
Dwells the trembling reality of my fragile soul
Entangled in the chains of wishes gone astray,
I’m trapped in the deceitful realm
Of an unorganized dream
Too stubborn to come true,
Captured by the chance of another day
The whispers within my soul will say….
Please understand my troubled soul
And the music it seems
That sorrow composed,
But know I want to live my life…
Know I still believe the light—
I understand the willow tree—
The silent shadow, the fallen leaf….
Though sorrow tells such constant lies
And the wind will witness my lonely cries

Know that life is in my eyes.
For I have to be the midnight moon,
I have to shine amidst the gloom.
I have to shine throughout the night,
For hope shall dwell within the light.
~T.S. Wilkins~
tswilkins@abstract-soul.com

Check out "The Community Begins Now" to find out how you and your friends can submit your poems to Escaping The Box.

Pick a Side: Whoopi or O’Reilly

I watched the surreal clip from The View repeatedly. The conversation between Goldberg, Behar, and O'Reilly unfolded in my head like some cheesy pop culture 80's movie: right before your eyes you see the young blonde bombshell with her layers and bangs. You can't help but notice her thin waist and oversized breasts (definitely fake). Men, women, and children can't help but stare in disbelief as she stands on the diving board over the pool in her inappropriately flimsy red bikini. She gracefully drops into the water and within seconds brings her head to the surface whisking her long hair back and forth (better yet she does it in slow mo…Everything back then was better in slow mo and you know it!). The camera pans out and the cheesy 80's pop song begins (George Michael, of course). The camera focuses on an eight year old boy. His mouth hangs open and his eyes become as large as basketballs before his mother's hand swiftly covers them. Back to the blonde; the camera view continues to widen as you come to the realization that perhaps you were right from the beginning. They were definitely fake.

Bill O'Reilly said what! "Muslims Killed Us On 9/11!"

Cover your ears and go to your room honey. You shouldn't hear this until you're fifty. Some of us just stood with our mouths open like the little eight year old in the cheesy 80's movie.

"Oh my God, that is such ****. Extremists – excuse me – extremists did that," Whoopi fires back so quickly she stumbles over her words. Ironically, it seemed as if an explosion had just taken place on that very stage.

Others at the same time, stood there with mischievous grins, as if a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Finally, someone says what we've all been dying to hear. The grin explodes into hysterical laughter and clapping. Encore my good boy, Bill! Encore!

Within those few moments so much had been said by both words and body language. The truth for so many had finally been said and she stood there topless and exposed for all to see.

So go ahead folks. Step up to the plate. What's the truth for you? The Box is back and better than ever!

Grade School Bullies: The New Terrorists

    As you send your children to school it's comparable to sending them off to a pack of snarling, hungry wolves. These wolves are searching and sniffing our schools and neighborhoods for the slightest sign of weakness, the faintest scent of blood. Once your child has been identified as prey, the pack uses physical and psychological attacks to toy with your child before devouring his or her self esteem and sense of self worth. So many of your children's minds spasm with fear; is there truly any chance that he or she can develop healthily and focus on education.

     In the news, right beside reports about Al Qaeda, terrorist attacks and the latest war casualties we find bullies – nameless, faceless adolescents who are harassing and menacing our children. This young adult outsmarts the school staff, security, and local authorities as they continuously violate and terrorize our children without punishment. As parents we are paralyzed with a feeling of helplessness; the solution to the bully problem evades us. We are all victims – children, parents, and teachers. Is there truly any resolution to this social glitch?

    We could only hope that the government could better assist this situation. My personal faith in the government does not exactly carry over into this matter. Isn't bullying a rite of passage in so many political campaigns? Notice how often our city, state, and federal political figures and candidates slander and speak lowly of the opposing party and its representatives. To them bullying is a game with psychological, financial, and other substantial rewards. Isn't asking these people to assist us in stopping bullying an oxymoron? To many corporations, bullying is a necessary in order to be successful in a capitalist society; in order to be called the greatest country in the world there must be some bullying, right? The irony of it all is that the bully harassing our family is a capitalist. The economist Milton Friedman once said, "History suggests that capitalism is a necessary condition for political freedom." What does it truly mean to capitalize? It doesn't (necessarily) mean bullying.

    So where does that leave us? How can we better protect our families from being victimized by bullies? If there were some way for the government to better police our schools, would this really get at the source of the problem? Would this prevent our children from being bullied and demeaned later on in their lives by society or their colleagues and bosses within the workplace? As we grow older we still run into situations that can lower our sense of self worth if we allow them to. Though we are all adults the results can still be the same – dwindled self esteem, anxiety issues, and depression.

    We must not allow our children to be so easily victimized. Being bullied is perhaps not as much a 'problem' as the result of a sense of worthlessness or depression. I believe Americans are generally privileged; we take for granted things that others are not as fortunate to have like clean drinking water, large amounts of food, and toilets. I believe that as a result, our concept of survival and resilience has been greatly distorted. We must begin creating within our children a mental resilience, a high sense of self-worth, and a long forgotten concept that the underdog wins
(i.e. the tortoise and the hare). Review with your children all of the concepts that worked for us in our youth but we no longer embrace as a society; kill them with kindness, turn the other cheek, love conquers all, everyone is special in their own way, everything happens for a reason. Though in today's society these concepts seem obsolete, they build resilience and a strong sense of self worth.

    Let's fight against bullying in every sense of the word by strengthening our minds and the minds of our children. Let's build a community strong enough to with stand the attacks of those that wish to capitalize at our expense. We have always had the chance to make a difference; stop being helpless and step up to the plate.

America And Its “Bad Blood”

I remember after the 9/11 attacks Americans were in awe. We all mourned at the loss of nearly 3,000 lives of innocent people. We all scratched our heads in disbelief as to how it could be possible that our country, a country so wonderful, could ever be disliked by others. We are the "land of the free" and "the land of
opportunity"; in United States of America, the Declaration of Independence states that all men are created equal. Right? Well doesn't it?

Yesterday morning I was watching CNN (a normal rite of passage in my home). I was so excited about the turnout of my last post titled, "What to do about the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy", and I was on edge trying to decide what would be my next post. What would be a post that would give my readers a further glimpse of the boxes that surround us? When the story came on it hit like a ton of bricks; I was dumbfounded at how this is so much like one of those things you see in some cliché conspiracy theory movie.
On the morning of October 1, 2010 Hilary Clinton, secretary of state, apologized on behalf of America for something called the Guatemala STD Study. In this study conducted in 1946-48, the Pan-American Sanitary Health Bureau and the Guatemalan government exposed hundreds of Guatemalan prisoners and mental health patients without consent to serious illnesses, including gonorrhea and syphilis before treating them with penicillin. To say that at the time penicillin was new and experimental would be a gross understatement. I suppose some of the methods to exposing these people to these diseases will bring more color to the story. Although not all of the details have been released yet, one of the methods is apparent – prostitution.

"I suppose it's ok as long as it doesn't happen on American soil," some unsavory characters might say. Well what if it did? Perhaps we should look into a similar experiment conducted between 1932 and 1972. The Tuskegee Syphilis Study was conducted by the US Public Health Service. In the study it recruited nearly 400 poor African Americans with syphilis to see how the disease would naturally progress without treatment. None of the subjects were told they had syphilis exactly; they were just told they had "bad blood".
Well, comments anyone?

Community Question: What to do about the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy

The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy forbids openly gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals from serving in the United States Armed Forces.  The concept of the policy was actually a huge step forward for gay rights activists from previous concepts such as “homosexuality is incompatible with military service”.  

As America continues to evolve, the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy seems to become more old fashioned.  Homosexuality is a way of life for many Americans and gay marriages are legal to license and perform in five states now; some other states still recognize these marriages even though they do not perform them.  To some people, gay marriage being legal in some states but not others may seem weird and even justify the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy still being in affect; but these same steps were taken during the early stages of legalizing interracial marriage as well.

On the 21^st of September, the Democratic Party failed to obtain the 60 votes needed to repeal the ban.  Tempers are flaring and gay activist groups are speaking out.  The community question for today is; where do you stand?  Do you believe gays, lesbians, and bisexuals should be allowed to serve in the military while being open regarding their sexuality?  Let’s open the floor people.  There is no wrong answer here.  There is only your opinion as we continue to explore the box.

The Driving Force of This Blog

Of all of the things that I have ever learned from school both prestigious and public, family, mentors, and life experience it was to think on my own that I hold most dear to my heart still today.

Our minds' reasoning capabilities are limitless and beyond even our own comprehension. Though our minds are inherently powerful and agile like the wild stallion, we find ourselves broken, tamed, and under restraint. As we grow from child, to adolescent, and on to adult, we are socially conditioned to not allow our minds to think freely. So many of us fear 'thinking out of the box' due to its association with high risk. With high risk comes the possibility of the greatest rewards, but also great failure. As so many of us stay within the box, we soothe ourselves by conjuring up a false sense of security, as if our chances of survival are now greater as opposed to if we were to think differently.

Social conditioning has made it difficult for us to be honest – even with ourselves. Getting back in touch with who we truly are is a process that will take time. We must undergo a separation from society and a cleansing of the mind. Traditional social concepts would rather you link the idea of mental freedom to being out of touch, a fanatic, naïve or inexperienced. Therefore you relate these notions as if they are a way of life or a necessity. We hold ourselves back from reaching our limitless potential for the sake of normalcy and our fear of being ostracized. Why?
Is life nothing more than a bunch of habitual and dull social interaction only brought to a close by death?

There is nothing on this planet more valuable and irreplaceable than life. Each moment that you are alive must be meaningful and cherished. How do we take it for granted so effortlessly? How can we throw moments away as if we have an infinite amount to spare?

To scrutinize everything that we have learned within our lives (including our own thoughts and beliefs) is difficult and exhausting, but it is necessary if you are in search of finding the whole truth and you hope to escape the box.

Creative thinking is the concept that drives this blog - not converting you for the sake of some ulterior motive; I suppose I might be a bit of a radical but I am far from an extremist. I'm not here to force my ideas upon you until you have no choice but to accept them and agree. For me to want everyone to agree with me in every way would indeed contradict the concept of creative thinking altogether. I only desire for this blog to have encouraged readers to think about things that they hadn't or to think about things differently than they had before. If that has been achieved, then this blog has served its purpose.

You think you know, but you have no idea...

I got on Jezebel today only to find 2 stories: one that made me want to beat someone and another that made me pretty happy as a woman who believes in reproductive rights for ALL women.

The first article makes me cringe, and my heart breaks for this poor child:
"Just when we think we've already heard the worst, a 16-year-old Canadian girl is raped and drugged by a gang of boys and men, and the photos go viral on Facebook."

WHAT. THE. F*&%?! The link to the original story can be found here. If your jaw isn't on the floor; if you don't want to scream and holler in sheer disbelief; if you don't want to just f**k something up, then CONGRATS -- you have no soul! I can't even begin to describe what is wrong with this picture -- how is any of this acceptable? Since when do we further victimize the victim?

The second story made me quite happy, and you can find it here. For those of you who have never heard of her, Melissa Harris Lacewell is a Princeton professor, and while I don't always agree with her views, I love this! She (most eloquently) outlined her reasons why reproductive freedom IS a big deal, even if you don't necessarily agree with it. So, I say: it's my vagina -- stay out of it.

Talk to me -- you know you want to! Floor. Is. OPEN!

Women, Sexism and the Eternal Quest for Respect

Unless you've been under a rock for the past few days (or you don't watch SportsCenter religiously, as I do...) you may have heard about the NY Jets' kerfuffle. Sideline reporter Ines Sainz claims that she was sexually harassed last weekend by several Jets players this past Sunday in the locker room. Sexual harassment is something everyone should take seriously, and I know I certainly do. I see it on my job, we train tirelessly about how to handle accusations of sexual harassment and assault, and I think that most people would agree that it isn't a matter to be taken lightly. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, the interwebs are ON FIRE -- just look here and here.

Generally, we are taught that the victim wasn't asking for it; I mean, who really ever wants to be touched in an unwarranted and unwelcomed way? Isn't that why it's called harassment and assault? Common knowledge is that whatever the victim did was not an open letter of invitation for people to grope, grab and otherwise provoke the situation. However, Ms Sainz (along with her wardrobe) is being called into question from every possible angle, and the Washington Redskins' Clinton Portis just came under fire for his insensitive comment about the whole ordeal.

This is a big deal, but it is only exacerbated by the fact that early this summer, Debrahlee Lorenzana was fired from her job and believes that it was because she was too sexy.

So, is there something to this? Is it okay to make untoward comments just because a woman is attractive? Was Ms Sainz asking for it?

The floor is open!

The Box

    Do not be fooled; you are in a box. The boxes are so cleverly disguised that you must be at least equally clever to see them or to know of their existence.

    "How can we tell that we are in the box if we cannot see it?" one might ask. Do you have to see the air and wind in order to know they are there? By noticing the effects on yourself and the world around you – you can develop a strong belief of their existence. The same can be said about bacteria and viruses; though we don't always see them, we bathe regularly and continue to wash our hands after using the restroom or before we eat because of our idea of their existence and the possible consequences if we don't.

    Don't worry, the boxes are not outside. The chance of you taking a trip out of state and being taken aback after crashing your car into the invisible box's walls is slim. I could imagine the phone call afterward, "Um, mom…I think I might have a little bit of problem." Followed by, "Yeah I know. You told me not to go because I'd hit another box… But I was going to ask if we'd put the Box Plan on our car insurance or not this year?"

The boxes are instead within our minds. They constrict our thinking which in turn restricts our movement, preventing us from reaching our full potential.

The word impossible is the admittance of short sight; it is the excuse for not even attempting to pursue or question the subject matter.

Imagine Yourself in a Box

    The loud slamming of walls jars you awake; your body temperature and pulse rise as the darkness angrily attempts to choke the life out of you. As a reflex, you blink repeatedly in hopes that your eyes will collect some light or you'll wake up from this nightmare. The smell of freshly cut wood becomes thick and overwhelming as you muster the nerve to stand to your feet. You recall a random childhood memory of someone cheering as you stand for the first time. The dragging of your feet seems deafeningly loud and echoes off of the box's walls. You gather that you are alone; there is no other sound. There is no recollection of how you got into the box, but the primal desire escape its walls is your only thought, as if you're beginning to drown and can only hope for air before it's too late.

    Your mind mulls over the last echo; it becomes clear that the walls must not be too far away. Stretching your arms in front of you, you hope to touch one. When this fails you walk cautiously not wanting to injure yourself. Slowly dragging your feet along the floor of the box, you discover that the floor is surprisingly smooth. After walking more than one hundred steps you begin to lose hope; the wall is not as close as you thought. Caution fades as every step becomes more brisk; within a minute you start running and screaming at the top of your lungs in hopes of hearing a response other than the echoes. Your legs slow down as fatigue sets in; you find it difficult to breathe as the blood in your legs seems to boil. Gasping for air with your hands on your knees you hear the echoes continue to mock you. Hopelessness sets in.

    At your moment of hopelessness a ray of light appears; both brilliant and unsettling. Though your eyes struggle to focus they are involuntarily drawn to the light, like a moth to a flame. You begin to see smaller beams dancing around – perhaps they are fireflies.

    "Have you established a foothold?" a male voice blares loudly over a radio. 'Foothold' ricochets off of the barren walls.

    "Roger. Foothold is established. We are in the box." That wasn't the radio! There is at least one other in here with you; a young man. Perhaps he can help. The original light vanishes; only the fireflies remain – you count nine of them.

    "Hello! I'm in here too," you cry out. "Are you here to rescue me?"

    A moment passes then the voice says, "We are here on official business. We do have the authority to use force and detain you if you interfere with the operation."

    What official business? What operation? Is this the National Guard or MERCENARIES? Question after question runs through your mind, like tuner cars on a speedway but you stay quiet due to uncertainty.

    One of the fireflies is directed at your face. It is a flashlight; you are momentarily blinded. They know where you are and what you look like. It's too dark for you to see their faces. What does using force mean?

    "Hey, give me a hand with this thing," you hear grunting and more echoes. One of the lights are put down one the on the floor. It shines at the feet of the other mysterious men holding the other electric lanterns. You can't tell whether there are more than just nine of them anymore. You see them struggle to push something massive, round. -to be continued…

Where Were You September 11, 2001? How did the terrorist attacks impact your life?

Stay tuned for my next post coming later this month.

Community Question: What Is Your Box?

     Thanks again to Eean "Enfinite" Tyson and you for making Poetry Tuesday such a success within its first week.  Continue to spread the word and send in your poems to enick.bostick@gmail.com.  Read all of the rules in my earlier post titled The Community Begins Now.

     Here at Escaping the Box your insights are important as we strive to pry our minds from the grips of conformity and explore our limitless potential.  Our community question for the week is; What Is Your Box?  What designed boxes in your life keep you from thinking creatively and exploring your limitless potential?

The floor is open.  This post is all yours.

Poetry Tuesday

Firstly, I would like to thank all of the poets and readers that were supportive and continue to assist in making Escaping The Box a successful blog.  In order to meet this first week's poet, I had to get out on foot and go to the Coffee Scene in Fayetteville,  North Carolina during its Open Mic Night.  This guest was one of the many talented voices that night and with him he brought a demeanor that was well calculated yet young, fiery, and vibrant.  So, with no further delay I would like to introduce our first guest to the Stage of Escaping the Box:  Eean "Enfinite" Tyson.

My name is Eean Tyson and I am 27 years old.  I grew up in a military household so I have always believed in, it’s not where you are from but it’s where ya’ at.  Right now, I am living in Fayetteville, NC, and have been here for about a year.  Poetry and I have been in an intimate relationship since I could remember but about 5 months ago I began performing at various open mics to include the Coffee Scene hosted by Neil Ray, the Fig Café, and Poetry in Motion hosted by LJ Bowens. After the first time I was addicted.  I then began performing in Poetry Slams which is an entirely different animal but I have fallen in love.  I had a great opportunity to perform at the Carolina Theatre in Durham, NC “An Evening with Sonia Sanchez”, a poetry slam and performance by Sonia Sanchez, who is one of my idols.  It was a great and humbling experience.  I have also looked up to the likes of Langston Hughes and Maya Angelo as well.

 I have a great respect for the English language, and have always been the type of person who wanted to bend the rules of literature.  I want to be able to inspire, encourage, and motivate others with my poetry at the same time revealing something about me to the audience.  I am currently working on my first book that will hopefully be completed by early next year (2011) and my first CD that will be out at the end of this year.

I am currently putting together an artist page on FaceBook.  You can search my name Eean Tyson or EnFinite.  You can also reach me by email if you enjoy my work and would like to hear or see more. e.tyson22@gmail.com.

LIFE LIKE ME

Its the best and the worst, my first and my last;

My future once before, now is the past;

I have been there again and before and,

When my ups were down, but my less has always been more,

I’ve kept it all in perspective, even brought darkness to light,

Push drama left in attempts to keep my mind right;

So insecure that confidence will be misconstrued

No nonsense kindness may be portrayed as rude—

Only weakness is my strength, as I forget to remember;

The heat of July or the chill of December;

I been dying to live and give my all to take, I’ve lost focus;

I hope and question whether my pursuits are hopeless;

Doubters so sure that my worth is worthless,

Unaware that my flaws are perfect,

And I view each failure as success

With each line that’s born another faces death

I stay grounded with my head in the skies;

Truth never rests as I’m surrounded by lies;

Realness perpetrated by the fake-

I look back and can’t say that I would correct every mistake;

My short comings will be key in the long run,

Dismissed the right decisions in favor of the wrong one;

Without remorse, I morn

I love in hopes never having to face a woman’s scorn-

This life I live to die with respect;

Or maybe perish trying to live the life, that life never forgets;

We come and we go what is, is what will be;

When I’m done with the world life will never live a life like me...

©2010’

Remember to send all of your work to enick.bostick@gmail.com with a brief bio (pictures are optional).

Dreams

ON August 28, 1963, Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his “I Have a Dream” speech at the Lincoln Memorial.  It spoke of a vision of equality amongst races within the United States of America.  He voiced his ideas of equal opportunity between races within the job market, schools, as well as society as a whole.  This was the future he envisioned for his children; for everyone’s children.  Though his dream seemed unlikely - or even impossible to some - he still dared to have a vision and spoke of it aloud with the world as his audience.  I remember watching an old video of this speech in 2001.  Needless to say it struck a nerve.  I saw his bravery and his boldness, I saw how fearless he was and yet how ingenious he was.  I saw myself in his convictions and more importantly I saw more of who I aspired to become.

            Photo taken at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C.  It reads:

I Have A Dream

Martin Luther King Jr.

 The March On Washington For Jobs and Freedom

  August 28, 1963

            On January 20, 2009 Barrack Obama was elected the first African-American President of the United States of America.  Still I wonder if Martin Luther King Jr. had any true concept of the power in the words he spoke and the impact that they would have on the world. 

            How can one dream without creativity?  You must look at the world as it is and visualize a new one – one that you have influenced; one where your ideas and opinions matter.  We must all dare to dream as Martin Luther King, Jr.  Do not allow conformity, society, or even your own mind to convince you that your dreams are unrealistic or that pursuing them would be a waste of time.

 

            Within our dreams and aspirations are undeniable truths.  They hold the blueprint and code that will shape our future, and the world’s.  By better understanding your dream you can better understand the journey within life that you must undergo.  All of our dreams have meaning; there have been many books written about the interpretations of metaphors and parables in our subconscious dreams we have during sleep.  You must get to the bottom of your dream. Ask yourself; what is the moral of the story that you have imagined for the future?  What emotions are you to evoke?  What will be the end result of your dream?  Look beyond the material gain that you wish to acquire and look at the immaterial gains that will be the result; love, happiness, a feeling of purpose and accomplishment, a better understanding and appreciation for yourself and the world around you.  See beyond the simple goals and have what is known as a vision. 

The young officer chases goals and aspires to become a master of tactics.  The senior officer invests in his vision and is the strategic force that molds the battlefield.

By understanding your dream you become one step closer to achieving it.

            First you must blindly trust the voice that is within you.  The inner voice is all-knowing with a better perception of you than anyone, even your own conscious mind.  Leave this channel that connects you with your inner voice open and clear.  Encourage the inner voice to speak by asking a question and meditating on it.  Empower your inner voice by putting its insight and advice to work.  Material possessions and tangible results are never the inner-mind’s true priority; the motive is to have you become more you.  The inner voice is not influenced by the world around it; it is simply hidden away or ignored.  It’s thought process is beyond logic and reason; by listening to it, you are relying on a process beyond your own understanding.  This is where things become unreasonable.                              

            Your inner voice does not care whether you are rich or poor; in love with someone or single; what social class or group you are in, or wish to be a part of.  It only cares about the growth of the true you, absent of all social, material, and tangible desires.  The inner-mind subconsciously plans to achieve its ultimate goal of making you a better you.  These plans are elaborate and to the logical, conscious mind they are difficult to comprehend and impossible to predict.

            The inner-mind can manipulate and trick the conscious mind.  This is because conscious mind is so often full of unimportant, untrue, and conformed social concepts that guide individuals away from their true selves.  It makes listening to the inner voice next to impossible.  Concepts like “Prettier is better” or “Wealthier is better” dominate the conscious mind.   For me, it was visual artistic skill that I chased.  When I was younger I valued my relationship with my inner voice but there were still so many social concepts that I had acquired; “The more skilled the artist, the better the artist”.  Doesn’t that sound so reasonable and logical?  Notice how easily misled the logical mind can be.  The truth that I had later discovered is, “The more creative the artist, the better the artist”.  In my younger days I chased artistic skill and prestigious art education programs.  I was the teenager on the bus sketching other patrons as they rode to their destinations.   Pursuing artistic skill had become my life.  I saw that art would be my future and would not hear anything contrary to my dream.  My vision was to become a great artist and create pieces that would change the lives of others. 

            I had a high school sweetheart during these years that also enjoyed art. Perhaps she had been attracted to my unwavering focus to improve my skill.  During this phase in my life it was realism, human anatomy, and the masters of the High Renaissance that were my artistic inspiration.  My girlfriend saw my newest goal was to draw a portrait of photographic quality.  It must have possible if other great artists could do it.  I had sketchbooks that were full of eyes, noses, and lips that I had drawn.  For some reason I could never get them to work together.  There was always some error. 

            My girlfriend gave me a photo of herself as a baby.  She asked me if I could draw it; I told her I would try and that I could not promise her a successful product.  I sat and drew and erased in the dining room of my home for ten hours straight.  During this time I studied until I memorized every line and every angle of the child’s face.  To my surprise the portrait was a success; equal to the quality of the photograph she had given me.  Instantly, I was filled with love for her.  I had fallen in love with the sight of her.  It felt like I had taken her beauty within me and understood it without a shadow of a doubt and I had proof of this experience; a simple drawing.

This is the actual portrait drawn when I was 17 years old.

            I remember meditating afterwards for days; “Is she the one?”  I had asked this question about every girl I’d cared for.  The answer had always been NO.   I remember this time the voice said YES.  Of course she was the one.  I was the only person that truly understood how beautiful she was.  From then forward I pursued her love, her company, and artistic skill like never before.

            My love for my girlfriend, for art, for the world and nature had all become interlinked.  I seemed to need all of these things to feel whole and I became so much more aware of and confident in my true self.  During my pursuit for artistic skill, a better understanding of myself, and the world around me, I made the decision to go off to a college out of state.  Though it was very difficult at times, my love for her was amazingly strong.  I kept the drawing I had of her as a reminder of my feelings for her.  She, on the other hand, did not find the distant relationship so empowering.  She made the decision to break up with me.  I had been broken.  I begged her for three hours (which felt more like an eternity) to compromise.  I then was fed up and said it had to be because she didn’t feel that I  was worth it; she agreed.   “Enick, in your own words, ‘YOU’RE NOT WORTH IT’.”  I remember the words as if it were yesterday.

            As a result, I gave up on my pursuit for artistic skill.  I had given up on my love for the world.  I had given up on women.  I knew that I had been tricked by my inner voice.  But why was that so?  What had I been given other than heartache and misery?  Self-confidence.  There was no way!  How could I be happy without her?  I had found the bravery to listen to my inner voice and chase my dreams.  That can’t be true!  I can’t pick up a pencil to draw anymore!  I found a desire to find out more about myself and the world around me.  I embraced my ability to associate my concepts of the world with something else – art.

            Not even my heartache, nor my resentment for the world could have taken away those things I had learned and acquired.  She was the one.  I had learned so much and acquired so many tools so quickly, simply by pursuing my dream.  If I never pick up a pencil to draw again, I have still benefited greatly from listening to my inner voice and following my dream to become an artist.  We are still friends that speak today and I still occasionally talk with her over lunch or dinner.  I am extremely grateful of her role in my personal growth.

            Take pleasure in exploring the depths and power of the mind.  It surpasses all logic and will never cease to amaze you.  She was the one but not in the sense that I was expecting.  No longer do I pursue the dream of becoming an artistic genius.  Artistry has simply evolved into creativity.

             

The Community Begins Now!

This is where it gets good people!  I am going to begin one of two community events.  Starting next Tuesday the 31st of August, I will post a poem from my readers.  I would like you to send your poems, and a brief bio (to include age) - a photo is optional - of yourself to enick.bostick@gmail.com  These rules will apply.

1.  All poems should provoke thought and Creative Thinking.  (If you wonder if your poem provokes thought, send it because it probably does.)

2.  There will be no profane language or offensive material posted out of courtesy for other readers.

3.  Once you send your poem, it will be seen by the world.  I will not in any way, shape, or form try to claim your work.  You - the Poet - will receive all credit and I will give a brief introduction as to why I chose to post your work!

We will try to post a new poem each Tuesday.  Send your best thought provoking poems to enick.bostick@gmail.com and we will kick this thing off Tuesday.  Looking forward to reading your work.

The next community event will be a surprise!  Stay Tuned.

Note to the Reader

    In my idealistic world, I fantasize of a place where everyone left some tangible proof of their existence and experience behind; like a book, a painting, or a song for everyone to connect with and learn from their experience. I spend time reading about the biographies of successful world leaders, celebrated figures of the past, and musicians. As a result I think to myself, "Those are real people with real experiences just like me. I can become a success story too." This is my piece that I am giving to the world. I hope that my words give you something to connect with and possibly learn from.

    I've been told many times by my editor, Krystina, not to sound mechanical, condescending, distant and detached from the reader. Over time I have come to understand why she said this so often. I only hope that this blog captures the essence of what we both had envisioned.

    They say, when speaking in front of a group of people that you should imagine them in their underwear. Picture some of the faces that seem to intimidate you in tacky cartoon character underwear. This takes the feeling of embarrassment and anxiety away from you, and in turn, places it upon the group (at least in your imagination). You speak as the expert on the subject and they listen attentively because they know so little about the subject in comparison. I would like to go about this blog a little differently; I would like to be the one to be envisioned in their undergarments, exposed and vulnerable. I want to show you my scars and insecurities. With this, I believe that you will be able see your life within them. As opposed to me lecturing the reader, I would like this blog to read as if it were a conversation between the audience and me.

    This blog in so many ways is a glimpse into what makes us who we are in ways that we already understand and in some ways we hadn't yet imagined. Do not feel put off if there is something you don't initially understand, agree with or if there is something you cannot personally relate to. I would like this blog to be a piece for conversation in schools, coffee shops, book clubs (if they even exist anymore), and casual conversations. I hope to be able to get in touch with you all personally about any comments, insights, or questions you may have about the writings.

    I believe the reason people will read and follow this blog is not due to a feeling of being lost or clueless, but to having found something. Realize that you are already a success story; simply surviving all of the hardships and setbacks that you have experienced is enough to be proud of. It is within ourselves that we will find all of the strength and answers that we desire.

    We are destined to experience moments in our lives that to us will seem nothing less than hopeless. Loneliness and depression may at some point seem to consume all of who and what we are. Trust that these moments are what make us stronger and wiser. They create better character traits within us; we find (after our survival) an ability to give better advice to those in need. These moments make for better conversations over coffee. Did I mention that I love coffee?