Community Question: What to do about the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy

The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy forbids openly gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals from serving in the United States Armed Forces.  The concept of the policy was actually a huge step forward for gay rights activists from previous concepts such as “homosexuality is incompatible with military service”.  

As America continues to evolve, the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy seems to become more old fashioned.  Homosexuality is a way of life for many Americans and gay marriages are legal to license and perform in five states now; some other states still recognize these marriages even though they do not perform them.  To some people, gay marriage being legal in some states but not others may seem weird and even justify the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy still being in affect; but these same steps were taken during the early stages of legalizing interracial marriage as well.

On the 21^st of September, the Democratic Party failed to obtain the 60 votes needed to repeal the ban.  Tempers are flaring and gay activist groups are speaking out.  The community question for today is; where do you stand?  Do you believe gays, lesbians, and bisexuals should be allowed to serve in the military while being open regarding their sexuality?  Let’s open the floor people.  There is no wrong answer here.  There is only your opinion as we continue to explore the box.

The Driving Force of This Blog

Of all of the things that I have ever learned from school both prestigious and public, family, mentors, and life experience it was to think on my own that I hold most dear to my heart still today.

Our minds' reasoning capabilities are limitless and beyond even our own comprehension. Though our minds are inherently powerful and agile like the wild stallion, we find ourselves broken, tamed, and under restraint. As we grow from child, to adolescent, and on to adult, we are socially conditioned to not allow our minds to think freely. So many of us fear 'thinking out of the box' due to its association with high risk. With high risk comes the possibility of the greatest rewards, but also great failure. As so many of us stay within the box, we soothe ourselves by conjuring up a false sense of security, as if our chances of survival are now greater as opposed to if we were to think differently.

Social conditioning has made it difficult for us to be honest – even with ourselves. Getting back in touch with who we truly are is a process that will take time. We must undergo a separation from society and a cleansing of the mind. Traditional social concepts would rather you link the idea of mental freedom to being out of touch, a fanatic, naïve or inexperienced. Therefore you relate these notions as if they are a way of life or a necessity. We hold ourselves back from reaching our limitless potential for the sake of normalcy and our fear of being ostracized. Why?
Is life nothing more than a bunch of habitual and dull social interaction only brought to a close by death?

There is nothing on this planet more valuable and irreplaceable than life. Each moment that you are alive must be meaningful and cherished. How do we take it for granted so effortlessly? How can we throw moments away as if we have an infinite amount to spare?

To scrutinize everything that we have learned within our lives (including our own thoughts and beliefs) is difficult and exhausting, but it is necessary if you are in search of finding the whole truth and you hope to escape the box.

Creative thinking is the concept that drives this blog - not converting you for the sake of some ulterior motive; I suppose I might be a bit of a radical but I am far from an extremist. I'm not here to force my ideas upon you until you have no choice but to accept them and agree. For me to want everyone to agree with me in every way would indeed contradict the concept of creative thinking altogether. I only desire for this blog to have encouraged readers to think about things that they hadn't or to think about things differently than they had before. If that has been achieved, then this blog has served its purpose.

You think you know, but you have no idea...

I got on Jezebel today only to find 2 stories: one that made me want to beat someone and another that made me pretty happy as a woman who believes in reproductive rights for ALL women.

The first article makes me cringe, and my heart breaks for this poor child:
"Just when we think we've already heard the worst, a 16-year-old Canadian girl is raped and drugged by a gang of boys and men, and the photos go viral on Facebook."

WHAT. THE. F*&%?! The link to the original story can be found here. If your jaw isn't on the floor; if you don't want to scream and holler in sheer disbelief; if you don't want to just f**k something up, then CONGRATS -- you have no soul! I can't even begin to describe what is wrong with this picture -- how is any of this acceptable? Since when do we further victimize the victim?

The second story made me quite happy, and you can find it here. For those of you who have never heard of her, Melissa Harris Lacewell is a Princeton professor, and while I don't always agree with her views, I love this! She (most eloquently) outlined her reasons why reproductive freedom IS a big deal, even if you don't necessarily agree with it. So, I say: it's my vagina -- stay out of it.

Talk to me -- you know you want to! Floor. Is. OPEN!

Women, Sexism and the Eternal Quest for Respect

Unless you've been under a rock for the past few days (or you don't watch SportsCenter religiously, as I do...) you may have heard about the NY Jets' kerfuffle. Sideline reporter Ines Sainz claims that she was sexually harassed last weekend by several Jets players this past Sunday in the locker room. Sexual harassment is something everyone should take seriously, and I know I certainly do. I see it on my job, we train tirelessly about how to handle accusations of sexual harassment and assault, and I think that most people would agree that it isn't a matter to be taken lightly. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, the interwebs are ON FIRE -- just look here and here.

Generally, we are taught that the victim wasn't asking for it; I mean, who really ever wants to be touched in an unwarranted and unwelcomed way? Isn't that why it's called harassment and assault? Common knowledge is that whatever the victim did was not an open letter of invitation for people to grope, grab and otherwise provoke the situation. However, Ms Sainz (along with her wardrobe) is being called into question from every possible angle, and the Washington Redskins' Clinton Portis just came under fire for his insensitive comment about the whole ordeal.

This is a big deal, but it is only exacerbated by the fact that early this summer, Debrahlee Lorenzana was fired from her job and believes that it was because she was too sexy.

So, is there something to this? Is it okay to make untoward comments just because a woman is attractive? Was Ms Sainz asking for it?

The floor is open!

The Box

    Do not be fooled; you are in a box. The boxes are so cleverly disguised that you must be at least equally clever to see them or to know of their existence.

    "How can we tell that we are in the box if we cannot see it?" one might ask. Do you have to see the air and wind in order to know they are there? By noticing the effects on yourself and the world around you – you can develop a strong belief of their existence. The same can be said about bacteria and viruses; though we don't always see them, we bathe regularly and continue to wash our hands after using the restroom or before we eat because of our idea of their existence and the possible consequences if we don't.

    Don't worry, the boxes are not outside. The chance of you taking a trip out of state and being taken aback after crashing your car into the invisible box's walls is slim. I could imagine the phone call afterward, "Um, mom…I think I might have a little bit of problem." Followed by, "Yeah I know. You told me not to go because I'd hit another box… But I was going to ask if we'd put the Box Plan on our car insurance or not this year?"

The boxes are instead within our minds. They constrict our thinking which in turn restricts our movement, preventing us from reaching our full potential.

The word impossible is the admittance of short sight; it is the excuse for not even attempting to pursue or question the subject matter.

Imagine Yourself in a Box

    The loud slamming of walls jars you awake; your body temperature and pulse rise as the darkness angrily attempts to choke the life out of you. As a reflex, you blink repeatedly in hopes that your eyes will collect some light or you'll wake up from this nightmare. The smell of freshly cut wood becomes thick and overwhelming as you muster the nerve to stand to your feet. You recall a random childhood memory of someone cheering as you stand for the first time. The dragging of your feet seems deafeningly loud and echoes off of the box's walls. You gather that you are alone; there is no other sound. There is no recollection of how you got into the box, but the primal desire escape its walls is your only thought, as if you're beginning to drown and can only hope for air before it's too late.

    Your mind mulls over the last echo; it becomes clear that the walls must not be too far away. Stretching your arms in front of you, you hope to touch one. When this fails you walk cautiously not wanting to injure yourself. Slowly dragging your feet along the floor of the box, you discover that the floor is surprisingly smooth. After walking more than one hundred steps you begin to lose hope; the wall is not as close as you thought. Caution fades as every step becomes more brisk; within a minute you start running and screaming at the top of your lungs in hopes of hearing a response other than the echoes. Your legs slow down as fatigue sets in; you find it difficult to breathe as the blood in your legs seems to boil. Gasping for air with your hands on your knees you hear the echoes continue to mock you. Hopelessness sets in.

    At your moment of hopelessness a ray of light appears; both brilliant and unsettling. Though your eyes struggle to focus they are involuntarily drawn to the light, like a moth to a flame. You begin to see smaller beams dancing around – perhaps they are fireflies.

    "Have you established a foothold?" a male voice blares loudly over a radio. 'Foothold' ricochets off of the barren walls.

    "Roger. Foothold is established. We are in the box." That wasn't the radio! There is at least one other in here with you; a young man. Perhaps he can help. The original light vanishes; only the fireflies remain – you count nine of them.

    "Hello! I'm in here too," you cry out. "Are you here to rescue me?"

    A moment passes then the voice says, "We are here on official business. We do have the authority to use force and detain you if you interfere with the operation."

    What official business? What operation? Is this the National Guard or MERCENARIES? Question after question runs through your mind, like tuner cars on a speedway but you stay quiet due to uncertainty.

    One of the fireflies is directed at your face. It is a flashlight; you are momentarily blinded. They know where you are and what you look like. It's too dark for you to see their faces. What does using force mean?

    "Hey, give me a hand with this thing," you hear grunting and more echoes. One of the lights are put down one the on the floor. It shines at the feet of the other mysterious men holding the other electric lanterns. You can't tell whether there are more than just nine of them anymore. You see them struggle to push something massive, round. -to be continued…

Where Were You September 11, 2001? How did the terrorist attacks impact your life?

Stay tuned for my next post coming later this month.

Community Question: What Is Your Box?

     Thanks again to Eean "Enfinite" Tyson and you for making Poetry Tuesday such a success within its first week.  Continue to spread the word and send in your poems to enick.bostick@gmail.com.  Read all of the rules in my earlier post titled The Community Begins Now.

     Here at Escaping the Box your insights are important as we strive to pry our minds from the grips of conformity and explore our limitless potential.  Our community question for the week is; What Is Your Box?  What designed boxes in your life keep you from thinking creatively and exploring your limitless potential?

The floor is open.  This post is all yours.